


Want you so bad I can taste it...

by HerEvilRoyalty



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Awesome!Regina, Bromance, Daddy!Charming, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Humor, Jealous Emma, Pre-Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan, almost relationship, sadface Hook
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-06
Updated: 2015-11-21
Packaged: 2018-03-21 14:36:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 11,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3695999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HerEvilRoyalty/pseuds/HerEvilRoyalty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'I need your help, Hook.'<br/>'...of course you do, love.'</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I need your help...

**Author's Note:**

> Inside my head lovesick Killian becomes sick of love Killian, so this happened. And it all kind of escalated quite quickly...

**A very long time ago...**

'I need your help, Hook.' 

He heard her say, before he'd even fully opened the door to his room. By the time the door was fully open, she was already turning away, expecting him to just follow her. 

Killian grabbed his long leather jacket and hurried to catch up to the blonde haired girl of his dreams.

* * *

**Quite a long time ago...**

'Hook!' shouted an irritated sounding Swan, 'Open up, I need your help with something.'

Killian stumbled to the door, still half asleep. 'Mmph...wha'sit this time, love?'

Emma laughed at him, he later realised she was laughing at his hair standing on end. She didn't tell him, her son pointed it out after Killian had helped Emma locate an elusive ingredient for a potion the Evil Qu...er, Regina was concocting. 

* * *

**A relatively long time ago...**

'Emma, love...we've been searching these woods all night. I don't think the Outlaw wants to be found.' He didn't mean to sound so agitated, but he'd been trudging along after her for 6 hours. He was cold, tired and she had barely said a word to him the entire time.

She finally turned and looked at him, 'I promised Regina I would find him. So we are going to find him.' 

'I appreciate that, but these woods are his territory. Not mine, love...I don't even know why you asked me to come along, you've ignored me for the past 5 and a half hours.' His cocky arrogance was gone, he sounded almost wounded. 

'Look, I asked you to come and help. If you didn't wanna help, you could have just said so.' Emma bit back impatiently. 

'Except I never say bloody no to you, do I, Swan...?' 

Emma didn't hear his words or the tone in which they were delivered, she'd already walked away.

* * *

**A long time ago...**

'Emma!' 

'What, Hook?'

'Killian.'

'What?'

'My name, it's Killian.'

'Look, _Killian_ , I have to pick Henry up, find my dad so he can take Henry for a few hours. Then find Regina and practise my stupid magic. So what? What is it you want?'

'I was just wondering i-'

'I really don't have time for this right now, Hook. Find me later. Bye!'

'...Killian. It's Killian.' Killian Jones muttered to himself.

* * *

 

**A not so long time ago...**

Emma was irritated. She'd been irritated for hours. She'd already blown out the power at the Station, damn near melted the steering wheel of the Bug, and was currently in the middle of trying to not make Ruby's face melt. 

She'd caught the she-wolf flirting and giggling with Hoo-no, Killian- this morning. Emma had been a little ( _okay, a lot_ ) off since. 

Emma had pretty much thrown herself into a booth at Granny's 20 minutes ago, and had spent the entire time alternating between glaring at Ruby and wondering where that damned Pirate was.

'Hey Emma, what can I get you?' Ruby asked in her usual friendly manner. 'Sorry it's taken so long, Granny's having problems out back with...er...the uhm...saucepans.' 

'Uh...right...I'll take a hot chocolate wit-' 'With cinnamon.' Ruby interrupted, 'I know your order by now, Em.'

* * *

**A not so long time ago...in the kitchen, with Granny...**

Killian was lost. Utterly lost. No amount of navigational knowledge was going to help him this time.

'Really Hook, it's not that difficult,' Granny ranted for the 3rd time. 'Look. You put the pasta, that's this stuff-' she rattled a package of dried pasta at the Pirate '-into the boiling water. Give it a few minutes, then drain it.' Granny couldn't help but smile at how adorably useless the Pirate was proving to be.

He had convinced Ruby, and then herself to give him cooking lessons. He wanted to cook a meal for the Savior, and Granny sure as Hell wasn't going to turn the Pirate down, the Charming girl needed feeding up. And if it helped the pair of them to finally stop dancing around one another, then all the better. 

'Okay, lass-' 'Don't call me lass, boy.' 'Er...okay...Granny...? Is Granny good...?' 'It'll do.' 'Great. So...what now, Granny?'

'Now you need to hop it, I have actual paying customers to deal with.'

The Pirate looked slightly dejected, but still sighed and turned to leave.

'Hold up, lad.' Granny called after him. As he turned back to her, she threw a dishcloth at him. 'You've got dishes to do, "love".'

* * *

 

**A rather short time ago...**

Killian held his good hand over Emma's eyes, as best he could. He'd been working on this night for weeks. 'Okay, love. Now you can look.'

Killian removed his hand, and Emma opened her eyes (she had promised not to peek, but Pirate's seemingly invented that lie) and smiled at the Pirate's efforts. Granny's was empty, literally empty. The tables and chairs had been piled up by the booths, save for 1 table and 2 chairs. The lights were off, and candles were softly lighting the table. 

'Do you...like it...?' Killian questioned, looking nervous. Emma couldn't hold back the giggle, 'It's lovely, really.'

Killian beamed as he pulled out a chair for his Swan, 'M'lady, if you'll be seated.'

As Emma was sitting down, her talking phone started making that God awful wailing. '2 secs, Hook.' Emma stood back up and walked towards the door as she answered the offensive device. 

Killian shuffled from 1 foot to the other as he waited for her to return.

**15 minutes later...**

He didn't want to interrupt her, he really didn't. But he did want to know who was important enough to interrupt a date he'd been badgering her for, for over a month. 

He walked outside. No Emma. No car. 

No date.

* * *

**Yesterday...**

'I'm really sorry for bailing on dinner the other night.' Emma rushed out, as she slid into the booth opposite Hook.

He didn't look up from his mug of, what she suspected was rum. 'That was 6 days ago, Swan. Don't worry about it.'

'Uhm...so, do you wanna try again?' she asked, almost hopefully.

'Actually, I have things to do, Swan. Maybe another time.' the Pirate answered as he drank down the rest of his rum, and rose to leave.

'Wait...Killian...' Emma began.

'What? Hmm? What? Need more of my help, do you?' He hissed at her.

'What? No. I-'

'You what, Swan? What? I cooked you dinner, you left without a word. I've run around after you like some...some lovesick puppy for months. Months, Emma! I've even started wearing these...genies-' 'Jeans, Killian. Just jeans.' '-whatever! I gave up my ship for you. I've jumped from realm to bloody realm for you! ...No! Don't even try to interrupt me right now. I followed you through time. I spent an entire year trying to get back to you! I helped you to save your boy, I saved your bloody father! I have done everything for you, everything, Emma.'

'Killian...'

'No. No more. I'm done, Swan.' with that, Killian stormed out of the diner. Emma sat back, stunned.

* * *

**A few minutes later..**

'Hello...? Emma, is that you?'

Emma tried to say his name, but all she managed was a small sob.

'Emma? Emma?'

'M'at Granny's. Please help me, Dad.' 

David dropped the phone and ran from the Station.


	2. ...There's nothing you can do to change my mind.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'You forget Pirate, I'm the Prince. My Grandson's other mother is the Evil Queen. Do not test me.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And...it continues...with Emma a bit OOC, but I really wanted a father-daughter moment.

The second David heard Emma call him dad and ask for his help, his heart all at once shattered, and swelled. He had never moved so fast in his life, he was barging through the door to Granny's before Emma even had time to put her phone away. He shot into the booth beside her, gathering her in his arms. His baby girl, finally letting her father hold her.

'Sshh, sshh, it's okay. Dad's here. Sshh.' he mumbled into the top of her head, as he rocked her in his arms. Her sobbing quieted after a time. She gently pulled from his embrace, her face was red and swollen from her crying. She didn't pull away completely, instead gently leaning against David's shoulder.

'Hook...Killian...he...he...' a fresh batch of tears cut Emma off. David tightened his grip around her shoulders. 'It's okay, sweetheart. Just take some deep breaths...do you...do you want me to get your mom?'

Emma was quiet for awhile before she calmed herself down enough to speak, 'I don't need mom, dad. I just...he...he...well, he broke up with me. And we weren't even dating! I mean, we had like...one date, but it ended before it began because Henry needed me. And he was so...cold, dad! But he said he loved me! He promised to fight for me, and how he'd win me over. Then he just... he said he was done with me, and wouldn't even listen or, or...' Emma had to force herself to stop talking, just to take a breath. Her father couldn't seem to form words at that moment. At any other time she would have laughed at the look on David's face. He looked equal parts furious, confused, out of his depth and wise, all at once.

'He said that?' 'Which part, dad. I just said a whole lot of stuff.' 'About being done with you.' 'Yea...he did...' 'I'm going to phone your mother, she's going to come take you home, and I'm going to go murder the Pirate.'

'Dad...' Emma started. 'No, Emma. No one hurts you, especially not some dirty Pirate!' 'Is that where Henry got the dirty Pirate thing from?' 'That's not important right now, Emma.'

Emma pulled away from David completely, looked into his eyes, then flung her arms around him. 'I love you, I know I'm...difficult and...but, I do. Love you. And mom.'

 

* * *

Snow collected their daughter from the diner, after David promised at least a dozen times to not go looking for the Pirate. David had agreed and let Snow drop him back at the Station. Where he waited 5 minutes for his wife and daughter to have left, then promptly headed for the docks. 

He had expected to have to trawl the docks, in search of the Pirate idiot. He was happily wrong, the idiot was sprawled out on a bench. David grabbed his collar and hauled him to his feet. Then promptly punched him in the face, and the Pirate went back to sprawling, this time on the floor.

'Get up, Pirate.' David growled.

'Ah, Charming, as ever. To what do I owe the black eye, Dave?' the idiot-Pirate drawled.

'Emma.' 'Ah.' 'I've just left her with her mother, crying her-' 'Emma's crying? Over me?' 'Why she would waste her tears on you, I have no clue either.'

Killian picked himself up off the ground, and put the bench between himself and the irate father. 'So...Emma's upset? Over me?' 

David narrowed his eyes at the idiot currently smirking over his baby girl crying. 'I'll be right back, Hook. I'm going to go get my sword now.'

'Aw, come on, pops...' Killian suddenly found himself back on the floor, the Prince having dived at him over the bench. As David went to rain down punches, Killian managed to get his arms up to cover his face. 'Dave! Come on! Let's be reasonable here,' he huffed out as the Prince battered at his arms and body. 

'Reasonable...you...told...her...you...were...DONE WITH HER! You...stupid...BASTARD!' David bellowed out, in-between throwing punches. David only stopped once he realised the Pirate had dropped his arms and was freely letting himself be punched in the head. His right eye was swollen shut, his nose undoubtedly broken, his lower lip split, there was a cut above his eyebrow and multiple abrasions over his cheekbones.

David stumbled away from the fallen Pirate. 'Hook...I...' David audibly swallowed. 'I...Hook? Hook?' David walked back towards Hook, nudged him in the side with his booted foot. No reaction, the idiot-Pirate was unconscious.

'Aw...shit...'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I listen to Placebo too much, hence the chapter title. And I still write the way I talk =/ I'm sorry, I suck...but I love writing this shit =/


	3. Queen of Medicine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'I'm not your personal paramedic, Mr Hook.'  
> 'That's Captain Hook, witch.'  
> 'You have no ship, even when you did, you were barely a Captain. And it's your Majesty.'  
> 'I see no crown on your head.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The way things go on in my head, isn't the same as the show. The Maleficent 4 are around, but keeping quiet. Hook & Emma aren't together. Yet. Or maybe not at all. Who knows. Robin is still in Storybrooke, Marian is fine. It's all in order, inside my head. Ish.

Regina had missed her Mayoral office. As Henry would say, the office is like her very own little Fortress of Solitude. The décor was fitting of a Queen, well, a Mayor at the very least. She had forgotten how peaceful her office could be, very few people ever bothered her here. Henry, who was welcome no matter where she was. Miss Swan, who didn't seem to care as to whether she was wanted or not, she inserted herself into Regina's life regardless, and if she were to be honest...she really didn't mind the Saviour's company, Heaven forbid Miss Swan ever learn that though. And of course her wayward step-daughter, ever since their 'missing year' in the Enchanted Forest, Snow had decided that Regina was part of her Charming little family, whether Regina liked it or not. At least she knew where Emma got it from.

Regina was mulling over her complicated relationship with Robin, and his estranged wife, when her office door burst open. Regina rose from behind her desk, already summoning a fireball.

'Hold the fireworks, it's me,' David Nolan struggled through her open office door, heaving an unconscious Hook onto her meeting table.

'I need your help, Regina. We had...a...uh...difference of opinion.' 'Do I look like a Doctor, David?' 'No, but you healed Henry, so...heal him?' 'I love Henry, I can barely stand this...cretin.' 'Regina. I am asking you please, please help him?'

Regina eyed the Pirate, then glared at David. 'Fine. But you owe me, Prince.' 'Duly noted, your Majesty,' David replied with a roll of his eyes.

'Okay, I've got to run...don't tell Emma about...any of this. I'll be back shortly, Grumpy found a lead on the Evil Queens down in the mines. Thanks Regina!' All of this was said as David was backing out of the door, then turning and flat out running for the exit.

'Just what did you do, to warrant such a beating, Pirate?' Regina idly questioned the still form of the Pirate. She slammed her door, with a wave of her hand.

* * *

'Ah, nice of your to rejoin us, Mr Hook.' Regina smirked at the stricken look on the Pirate's face.

'What the bloody Hell am I doing here? How drunk am I?' Regina forced Hook back down onto the table, with a finger prodded into his forehead. 'Ow, that bloody hurts, witch!'

'Oh, do shut up. I don't want you here either, but David insisted.' Regina walked around to the other side of the table, a pestle and mortar in her hands. 'Right, due to the fact I have zero personal interest in your well-fair, Mr Hook-' 'That's Captain to you, witch.' 

Regina let out a startled laugh, 'Oh please, even when you actually possessed a ship, you were barely a Captain. And it's 'your Majesty'.' 'Misplaced your crown, have you, lass?' 'I'm sorry, I thought you were here to be healed, not have your head impaled on a spike, adorning the entrance to my offices.' 'Big talk, Queenie.' 

Regina pursed her lips, then broke out into a trademark evil smile. 'You should save your strength, Pirate.' She cocked her head, as purple smoke wafted over Hook's lower face, his lips promptly locking together. Hook tried to open his mouth, his eyes widening in shock as he realised he had been magically silenced. 'What was that, "Captain"? Didn't quite catch that.' 

The smile still firmly in place, she began pasting the hastily made poultice on to Hook's battered face. 'As I was saying, before you so rudely interrupted me. Due to the fact I have zero interest in your well-being, I'm unable...well, it's more unwilling, to waste my limited healing magic on the likes of you. So, you'll make do with this-' She pasted more of the foul smelling substance on his face, '-and hopefully we'll never have to meet like this again.' 

Once the poultice was just about covering the entirety of Hook's face, Regina walked back to her desk. 'You know, Pirate, I quite like you this way. Silent and beaten is a good look for you.' Hook glared daggers at her from his new sitting position on her table. 'And you can get your filthy boots and self off that table, that's what the chairs are for.'

Hook continued to glare as he slid off the table gingerly, his left side aching, and most likely bruised. 'Sit, sadly after that mess on your face, and the poultice-' Hook glaring even harder at her, '-has done it's work, I'll need to cover up the bruising. It'll still hurt like Hell, but no one will see it. Brilliant, I know, even if I do say so myself.'

* * *

 

The truth was, there wasn't really any lead down in the mines. David just didn't want to have to explain himself to Regina, or be around Hook when he regained conciousness. So he headed back to the Station, where he should have been anyway. He was starting to regret his treatment of the Pirate, oh the Pirate deserved it, but David was fretting over how Emma would react. She'd asked him to not to confront Hook, and he'd beaten him into a trip to the Evil Queen. He ground the palms of his hands into his weary eyes. He was going to have to go see how the idiot was doing. He sighed as he wearily rose to his feet. 

The walk to Regina's office took him well over an hour, thanks to dawdling and buying himself and the Mayor a coffee. He figured the caffeine might sweeten 'her Majesty' into overlooking mentioning the "incident" to Emma, or worse, Snow. 

'Ah, David. How are the mines?' 'Uh, what? ...Oh. Yea. Yea, nothing.' 'I see.'

David hastily handed the takeaway cup to Regina, 'I truly hope this isn't your idea of bribery, a cheap coffee from Granny's. Really, David?' 

David ducked his head, 'Where's the Pirate?' David felt a tap on his shoulder, as he started to turn, Hook's good hand stopped inches from connecting with David's mouth. Regina had frozen Hook, 'He's feisty. I like it better when he's unconscious.' 

'Uh...thanks, for...that. Figured he'd left, it was so quiet in here...' 'I silenced him, I think the entire town may want to thank me for that.' 'Emma certainly might.' 'Oh? Do tell.' '...he's just...he was an ass to her.' 'So you beat him up, then dropped him at my door? Not exactly very noble of you, Prince.' 'To be fair, you murdered countless thousands, I only hit him.' 'Touché.' 

David moved away from the frozen idiot, 'I kind of like him this way.' 'Then you can take him, use him as a coat rack maybe? Built in Hook's and everything.' Regina smirked, and David, despite himself, chuckled with her.

 


	4. It's hard to reconcile, what I've become...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'I wasn't always a Pirate...'

David sighed, he and Regina had got chatting about Henry and how quickly he's growing up. But they can't put off unfreezing Hook forever...well...no, no they can't.

'We could just keep him this way...' Regina mused, as though reading his mind. He huffed out a laugh, 'Don't even tempt me.'

Regina suggested David should probably be on the other side of the room, just in-case Hook decided he still needed retribution. David positioned himself on the other side of Regina's desk, 'Ready when you are, your Majesty.' Regina rolled her eyes as she unfroze the troublesome Pirate. 

Said Pirate's momentum from his failed attack propelled him to the floor, 'What the bloody Hell!?' He raised his eyes to where David was now located, 'There you are, lad. Come help up this old Pirate, so he can bury his bloody Hook in you!' 

David raised his hands in a placating manner, 'Woah there, Killi-'

'That's Hook to you, Dave.' 

Regina folded her arms, raised one of her perfectly shaped eyebrows and raised her voice to be heard over the 2 idiots occupying her office, 'When you're both finished with this lover's tiff, I'd like my office back.'

Killian whirled around, 'And you, witch! You're bloody we-'

'Do I need to freeze you again?' 

The Pirate stopped talking abruptly, picked himself up off the floor and continued glaring at David. 'Good, I'm going to pick Henry up from school, you boys play nice.' Regina called breezily, as she collected her coat and sauntered from the room.

'Look, Hook. I apologise for...the...for hitting you.'

'Several times...'

'Yes, I apologise for hitting you several times.' As the Pirate moved to begin talking again, David held up his hand, 'I apologise for my attack on you, but you deserved it. You told Emma you were done with her, for Christ's sake, Hook! You know what she's-' 

'What? No I didn't.'

'...Are you calling my daughter a liar, Hook?'

'Look lad, I know better than anyone what your lass is like. I did not say I was done with her.'

'Then why is she at home breaking her heart to her mother?'

'I don't know what to tell you, Dave. I did not say I was done with her.'

'Then what the Hell did you say to her?'

'I said I was done.'

'That's what I just said!'

Killian sighed as he dropped into one of the chairs around Regina's makeshift hospital bed/meeting table. 'I said I was done, NOT with her. Done, as in done with her blaise treatment of me. I cooked her bloody dinner, Dave. I used the large fire...thing. Dinner, Dave. Dinner!'

'I'm not deaf, I heard you the first 2 times.'

'Ah, but I cooked her dinner-'

'I swear to God, Pirate...'

'-And! And she ran off, didn't even tell me. Just ran off. Granny nearly killed me, Dave! I nearly burnt the bloody diner down, after leaving to find her!'

'Well...you...she...she's my daughter, and you've hurt her.' 

'And for that, I will be eternally sorry. I love the lass...she's just so...I've chased her for months, and she just keeps me hanging...says she's interested, then runs off for 6 days without a bloody word.' 

David sat down in Regina's chair, it was as uncomfortable as it was regal. 'This still doesn't change the fact that I've got a crying daughter at home, Hook.'

'I'll go see her, explain this-' he waved his arms around the room, and between himself and the Prince, '-whole thing to her.'

'No chance.'

'Wait, what?'

'You're not going anywhere near Emma.' 

Killian laughed incredulously, 'And you think you're going to stop me, Dave?'

David banged his fist down on Regina's desk, 'You're damn right I am. I'm not having my daughter call me, breaking her heart because some idiot doesn't know when to shut his damn mouth.'

'But-'

'No.'

'I really didn't want to have to do this, Davey-boy,' Killian said, sounding almost apologetic, 'But I'm going to wager that Emma told you to leave me be, and...well, if she were to find out. Even see what you did to me...'

'You have got to be kidding me...'

Killian's face broke into a huge, cocky grin. 'Pirate, mate.' He winked at the Prince, cheekily.

'You disgust me.'

'Still a Pirate, mate.'

'And I'm still her father, "mate".' David shot back angrily.

Killian's features became sombre suddenly, 'I know you are, mate. I do love her. I am in love with your daughter, David. I'm not going to...blackmail you, even if by rights I should. I swore to Emma that I would win her heart without trickery. And that is exactly what I intend to do.'

David crossed his arms and just stared at the man before him. _My daughter, a Princess...being courted by a Pirate..._

After what seemed like hours, but was actually merely minutes, David said, 'And what happens when you don't win her over? Gonna resort to blackmail and trickery then?' 

'I wasn't always a Pirate. I was honourable once. She makes me want to be...good. To be honourable. I will win her heart, and when I do,' Killian paused and grinned, 'Then I'm going to win over you, and your lovely wife. You'll love me, I'm adorable.'

'Wouldn't hold your breath there, Hook.'

'Please, you're practically my father-in-law, call me Killian.'

'Remind me why I'm not still hitting you?'

Killian barked out a laugh. David shook his head, 'I should have let Regina keep you as a coat rack...'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not 100% sure I'm happy with this chapter...it's basically pushed the story where I want it to go, but I'm not entirely happy with how I've written Hook =/ but after rewriting 4 times, this will do for now.


	5. Dazzled, doused in gin. Change your taste in men.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Henry, lad...men-folk are most untrustworthy. Trust me.'

'Emma!' Killian called, as he hurried to catch up to the blonde, as she entered Granny's. They had only seen one another in passing, since the 'done with you' fiasco. David had gallantly backed Killian up when he had the door slammed in his face multiple times, as he tried to explain himself to Emma. She hadn't wanted to listen, but Snow seemed to have taken pity on him, and Emma had eventually agreed to forget the incident. 'Emma, lass. Where's the fire?' he joked as he caught up to her.

He had a stupid grin on his face, just merely being in the same breathing space as her.

'I have literally 5 minutes to grab lunch, Killian.' She nodded at Ruby as the she-wolf mouthed 'usual?' at her. 'What is it you need?' Emma's still rather chilly reaction to him disheartened him only slightly. He had a plan, and he was going to stick to it. 'I was merely going to offer to...baby-sit, is that the word? ...to care for your lad. I heard Regina invite you and your mother to dinner, Dave can keep Neal. I'll take Henry, and you can...do whatever it is Snow White, the Evil Queen and the Saviour do...'

'No thanks, David already agreed to watch Henry.' Emma replied frostily.

'Aye...but...well, he's a young lad. He'll hardly want to spend another evening in with Dave and a squalling baby...' Hook tried to reason. He was starting to think he didn't have much of a chance. The Swan seemed immune to his charm today. And well...most days, since the..."incident". 'Swan...Emma. I just...want to make amends. I am sorry...I'm not trying to-to-to trick you. I like your lad, and given the chance, I think he could like me too.'

Killian gave her a hopeful smile, one which Emma found herself grudgingly mirroring. 'Okay, yea. That would actually help my dad, Neal's been keeping him and mom up. You having Henry for a few hours would lighten his load...'

'It's agreed then, I'll collect Henry from the day-prison for children-' 'School, Killian.' '-and return him in time for a nightcap. For me, not him. I will not allow your lad to drink. Unless you say it's okay. Is it okay...?' 

Emma merely stared at him.

'Okay. Not okay. Got it.'

* * *

'Henry, lad! Here.' Killian called and waved to Swan's son as he exited the child day-prison. Oh right, _school_.

Henry trudged towards him, looking less than enthusiastic. 

Killian slapped the lad on the back, 'Your mothers and your grandmother are doing whatever it is they do. Get drunk, curse that dwarf Emma hates, and general banditry, I suppose...' Henry merely frowned, 'Anyway...I'll be caring for you this evening.'

'But...grandpa can look after me...' Henry mumbled as Hook tugged his sleeve, forcing him into walking by his side. 

'Dave is caring for Neal, you'll have way more fun with me.'

'Can I drink beer, date Ruby and have a sword-fight with Will Scarlett?'

'No, but I did try to convince Emma to let you drink, in my defence.'

Henry looked up at the bizarre man, shook his head and quipped back, 'Can't really see me having all that much fun then, Hook.' 

'Lad, you can call me Killian, you know...?' 

'No thanks. Hook.'

Killian had to grin at the lad's attitude, a boy after his own heart.

* * *

After Killian's issues with the oven (as he's been informed it's called, several times now) at Granny's, the Pirate was obliged to find new accommodation. Something he still hasn't quite managed, above board anyway. 

'Welcome to my humble abode, young Henry!' Hook announced as he led Henry onto a small houseboat, Killian found it moored just off the docks and had 'acquired' it for his own. Killian frowned at the slightly disdainful look on Henry's face. 'Granted, above deck isn't much to look at...I haven't had her that long...'

This was around the time Henry decided to give the Pirate a break, he just looked too much like a kicked puppy. 'No, it's fine...uhm...so, food?'

'Ah! That I can manage! Follow me.'

Hook unlocked the hasty lock he put on the door to below deck, he began lighting candles as he moved down through the darkness. Henry squinting and trying to not appear too unimpressed.

At the bottom of the few steps, Henry could finally see thanks to all the candles. Realising that electricity was still a foreign concept to the Pirate. His eyes travelled the room, alighting on a table almost overflowing with candy. Henry rushed to the table, but paused as he reached for a sweet, 'Uh...is it okay...'

'Go ahead, lad. I heard children of this realm live on this form of sustenance.' 

'Well, I totally would. If my moms would let me.'

'They don't allow you food...? I don't think I understand...'

Henry smiled around a tooth-rotting treat, 'This is candy, my mom-Regina, says that it's junk food and that I shouldn't eat it. Ever. Mom-uh, Emma, let's me have some...but doesn't tell my other mom...'

'I see...I appear to have misunderstood Granny...' Killian's face fell, he had really tried. He had so desperately wanted to care for Henry correctly, to impress Emma...and just because he liked the lad, he wanted to be part of his life, as well as Swan's. 

'It's cool, Ho...Killian.' Henry smiled at him, then handed him a bar of the candy. 'Try it, it's reaaaaally good.'

* * *

Killian and Henry were both slumped on the floor, candy wrappers littered the space between them.

'Lad...my stomach hurts...' 

'Me too...we need to find real food now, Killian.' Henry replied, groaning.

'Where do we find real food...?' Killian questioned, trying to decide if another bar of the chocolate, as Henry had told him it was called, was a good idea or not.

The young lad sprung to his feet, grabbed at the Pirate's hook and pulled him up. Killian was in silent amazement that the lad had so easily grabbed at a deadly weapon, without fear or preamble. A small, genuine smile covered the hardened Pirate's face as he allowed himself to be tugged back up to the deck. 

'We should stay away from Granny's, my moms will probably be there...wish the ice-cream store still, you know, existed...' 

They exited the small houseboat and began walking in the direction of the town's main street. 

'Oh! I know, we'll go to the store and get something frozen. We can heat it in a microwav...oh wait, you don't have one...'

'Yet, lad. I don't have one yet. A microwave is the...box, with the bleeping and the numbers, yes?'

'Yup. But I don't think they'll sell them at the store, Killian...' Henry replied.

'Let me worry about that, lad. Lead us to this store.'

* * *

Shopping with Hook was quite the experience, he was childlike in his curiosity. Henry had planned on just grabbing some microwavable ready meals, but the Pirate's enthusiasm had resulted in a shopping cart piled high with food. 'Uhm, Killian?' Henry started, the Pirate pausing in his perusal of cereal boxes, 'How are we gonna pay for all this? I don't get pocket money until Friday...'

'I'm a Pirate, we'll just steal it.' Killian laughed at the shocked look on the youngsters face, 'Joking, lad. But I am a Pirate, I have plenty of currency. Though I'm still unsure of the value of these pieces of paper...' Killian withdrew a large wad of bills, thrusting the money at Henry.

'Okay...we could probably buy the entire store with all this money...where did you get it all...?' the boy asked uneasily. Killian smiled reassuringly, 'Your mother helped me exchange the gold I have for this paper stuff, I preferred the gold.'

'Now lad...can you pay for all of this, while I go...er, buy a microwave?' Killian had almost let himself slip up there, he had no intention of purchasing a smallwa, wait-no, _micro_ wave. He'd just steal Regina's. 

'Sure, but how do we get all of this back to the boat...?' 

'Your mother said I could borrow her land moving-' 'Car.' '-Yes. Car.' The word tasted foreign on Killian's tongue. 'I'll buy the microwave, obtain the car, and we shall feast!'

'Uh huh...' Henry giggled at the swiftly retreating Pirate. 

* * *

Hook had managed to rather successfully pilfer Swan's land vehicle keys, he still didn't like the word 'car'. He had successfully broken into the Evil Queen's rather extravagant home, and stolen her microwave. He'd left a small note, "I am feeding your son, and you did immobilise me." He was sure she wouldn't mind, and if she did, he was hopefully going to be dating the local law enforcer anyway.

He had thought making the land... _okay, fine_. The _car_ would have been as easy to manoeuvre as a ship, he was a natural at sailing. The driving of the yellow Bug, not so much. He had managed to get the bloody machine in the vicinity of Henry, he'd only slightly dented the front bumper, and unfortunately the right side mirror was hanging off. Otherwise, he was rather proud of himself.

'My mom is going to kill you.' Were the first words out of Henry's mouth. 'Nah, lad. She'll barely notice...you're right, she's going to kill me, isn't she...' Killian sighed, he was sighing a lot today.

'It's cool, Killian. We'll blame it on my grandpa, he can't drive the Bug properly either. We'll just take the shopping back to the boat, return the car and she'll never know. Which is good, as she totally didn't say you could use it. I'm a kid, not an idiot. Stupid Pirate.' Henry ranted on as he began piling the shopping into the car. Killian helped by dangling the bags from his hook, for the lad to load into the trunk. 

'So Henry...'

'If you're gonna ask me weird questions about my mom, please don't.' Was the quick reply.

'Ha, no. No, lad. No. Can you sa-sorry, _drive_ -this bloody thing?' Killian asked, looking far too hopeful.

'Well...I'm not supposed to, and there was that whole mess when I drove grandpa's truck...but, I can drive us!' Henry beamed, slammed the trunk shut, and dove for the drivers side door.

* * *

**2 hours later...**

'Okay. so stealing-'

'You said you bought it!'

'I'm a Pirate, how many times!?'

'I knew I recognised it, it's my mom's-Regina's, isn't it?'

'Aye, lad. It is. I apologise.'

'It wouldn't have been so bad, if you had had actual electricity.'

'Cooking over a fire was an adventure for you. You loved it.'

'I singed my eyebrows, Killian!'

'Lucky I'm so dashing, no one will notice your missing eyebrows.'

'Can we just go to Granny's and get edible food?'

'You ate the fingers of fish. You said they were, and I quote, "yummy, Killian!"'

'Yea, I lied. And they're called fish fingers.'

'In the Enchanted Forest, you couldn't just go running to Granny's, you know. The she-wolf would have made a meal of you...'

'Ha ha. You're the funniest Pirate I know.'

'I'm the only Pirate you know. But yes, let's retire to Granny's...wonder if she'll let me have my old room back...I find I miss this electricity your realm is so fond of.'

'Let's just hope both my moms are too drunk to notice us, or have already gone to the Rabbit Hole.'

Killian stopped abruptly, 'Woah there, lad. Emma's going to the Rabbit Hole?'

Henry didn't break his stride, too hungry at this point, 'Yup.'

'But...there could be men there!' 

'So?'

'So? SO? Men, Henry. Men are bad. Men-folk are most untrustworthy.'

'Killian?'

'Yes lad?'

'We're both men.'

'And look how we've spent our evening!'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm British, as in, extremely British. But I've tried to...would American-ise be the correct term? Candy - I would call sweets, trunk - I would call boot, shopping cart - I would call trolley.
> 
> At this point, I've stopped even trying to write more consistently. Or moderately-sensical. It makes sense in my head, if that helps? It doesn't help, it totally doesn't help. I, like Hook, apologise. Have a finger of fish...? *hopeful grin*


	6. For what it's worth...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'You have no friends in this town, Hook.'

'Hey Grandpa!' Henry called quietly in-case his uncle was sleeping, as he let himself into the loft, Killian standing in the hallway behind him. David was holding said uncle, 'Henry! How are you? Have you eaten? Did you have fun? What did you do?' David fired the questions at Henry, but was glaring at the Pirate now leaning against the door frame.

'We burnt down the Sheriff's Station, ransacked Granny's, stole from the Evil Queen, and bought you this bag of microwavable meals - but, we still got back in time for Henry's curfew.' Hook held up the bag of only partly frozen meals by his hook, it seemed a shame to waste them, and Henry was insisting he returned the "acquired" microwave.

'Yes, you're hilarious, Pirate.' David shot back sarcastically. 'Now, Henry, not Hook, Henry. Have you eaten?'

'You know I've-' Hook began, just as Henry interrupted him, which was probably a good thing really.

'Yes, Grandpa, we've eaten. I'm fine, we did have fun, we just hung out and we didn't do any of the stuff he just said.' Henry smiled at his Grandfather reassuringly as he dropped his bag and removed his coat. Hook smiled at Swan's lad, he really was a great kid. 'I'll see you tomorrow morning, lad. Bright and early.'

'Er, hold up there. What's happening tomorrow morning?' David queried, as he handed his son over to Henry, 'Thanks, my arms are killing me. He's really fussy tonight.' David stretched his arms, while Henry coo-ed at his baby uncle. 'Killian said we can go fishing tomorrow...if that's okay with you, Grandpa?'

'Right...well...yes. Sure. Yes. Fishing. That sounds...delightful.' David's tone sounded anything but delighted, Hook couldn't help the smirk currently gracing his face. 'Henry, why don't you see if you can get him to settle?' David quietly asked Henry, ruffling his Grandson's hair, 'I'll just see Hook out.'

'No need, Dave. I'm missing a hand, not legs.'

'I insist.'

* * *

David and Killian descended the stairs in a stony silence. Killian breathed a sigh of relief as they finally hit the street, 'I'll be seeing you, Dave.' He said, already starting to walk away. 

'Hook.' 

Killian stopped walking, his shoulders slumping as he turned back towards the Prince. 'Yes, your Highness?' Hook replied wearily.

'You don't have many, if any friends at all, in this town, Hook,' David held up his hand as Killian opened his mouth, probably to insult him, 'Therefore...myself, Robin and Will...we get together every Saturday and Snow...Snow said I had to invite you.' David only sounded slightly miffed as he said all of this, 'We complain about our partners - you are not Emma's partner, even if you were, you would have zero to complain about -, play cards, you know...do...guy stuff.' 

'Why would I...' Hook paused, his mind stopping his witty retort. Snow White was making her husband be nice to him, even invite him to spend time with his friends. Killian was going to have to swallow his pride (and witty retorts). The truth was, he didn't have any friends in this town (save Henry, even then the lad was only starting to warm to him), and it would be nice to not spend another night alone on his cold houseboat. Or sitting alone at Granny's, while everyone else gave him, what they thought were, inconspicuous but still suspicious glares. 'What I mean to say is, why wouldn't I want to join you and your merry men.' Hook couldn't help the smirk at his own witticism.

'Like I said, you're hilarious. Fine, meet us at Granny's at 8pm on Saturday.' David replied, obviously gritting his teeth, 'And Hook? If Emma allows Henry to go fishing with you, he had better be wearing a life-jacket, the boat had better be sea-worthy and I will be accompanying you both. There needs to be at least one adult around the both of you.'

Hook gave the Prince an exaggerated bow, and once more turned to leave.

'Oh and don't think I didn't notice that Henry's missing his eyebrows.'

Hook winced, but continued walking away. David's eyes boring holes in to his back the entire time.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're reading this, thank you for reading. =) usual apologies and self-loathing regards to writing apply.


	7. Without you I'm nothing...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'The Saviour, Snow White and The Evil Queen all go into a bar...sounds like the prelude to a dirty joke.'

Emma Swan - Saviour, Sheriff, extremely hungover. She couldn't even remember how late herself, her mother and Regina got in last night. It must have been late, because the Evil Queen herself was unconscious on the sofa. Emma stifled a giggle at how untidy, the usually perfect Mayor was looking, drooling in her sleep and snoring softly. 

Emma had a vague recollection of her dad mentioning something about going out early with the boys, she couldn't quite recall exactly where they were going, but that was the least of her problems. Her head was pounding, her tongue felt furry and no one was there to pass her a much needed cup of coffee. Her mom or dad were usually the first up, and always had coffee and breakfast ready for herself and Henry. She paused a moment to think of how much her parents meant to her, and how strange her life had become. But a good sort of strange. Emma looked back at Regina, still trying to stifle giggles at how ridiculous the Evil Queen looked. She set up 3 cups, and began brewing some seriously strong coffee. She had a feeling all 3 of them were going to need it. Never try to out drink the ex-bandit Princess and the Evil Queen, those ladies could hold their liquor.

As she was pouring the coffee/hangover remedy, her mother stumbled in to view. She looked how Emma currently felt. 'Hey Emma,' Mary-Margaret mumbled, while looking around the room, her eyes reaching Regina, 'Oh my God, where's my phone? We have got to take a picture of her.' 

'Mom...okay fine, we could make it this year's Christmas card.' Emma giggled again, feeling lighter and happier than she had ever thought possible. Her parents were wonderful, her son was...he was just perfect, her son's other mother was fast becoming one of Emma's best friends, her baby brother was adorable, no one had tried to kill any of them in days, and Killian was still interested in her. Life, at that moment, felt _good_. Even if her head was trying to implode. 

Emma couldn't stifle her laughter any longer as Mary-Margaret showed her a small albums worth of photos she'd just taken of Regina, 'You realise she's probably going to try to poison you...again, for that.' 

'Who am I poisoning?' Regina questioned as she began to stand up and sort her clothing out. 'Wait...why am I here?' 

Mary-Margaret laughed as she handed Regina a cup of extra strong coffee, 'I think we may have all been a little...tipsy, I guess you decided to pass out on our sofa. By the way, bed-hair is a great look for you.' If looks could have killed, Snow White would have been dead, 30 times over.

The 3 unlikely companions sat down at the table, Regina admiring her manicure, Emma wondering if she could talk her mom into making her pancakes, and Snow White herself trying to not doze back off.

After several minutes of companionable silence, Emma smiled and shook her head, 'You realise that the 3 of us going out sounds like the prelude to a dirty joke, right?' Emma said, as she drank her coffee, '"The Saviour, Snow White and the Evil Queen all go into a bar..." like I said, dirty joke.' Snow White and the Evil Queen gave her withering looks, 'There is not enough coffee on the planet for me to deal with you this early on.' Regina then turned her attention to her step-daughter, 'And you, Snow White my ass. You were practically giving Bashful a lap dance-' 

'Woah there! You cannot talk about my mom and lap dances in the same sentence!'

'Speaking of mom's, where's our son, Miss Swan?' 

'Oh, so now it's "Miss Swan"?'

'Fine. Drinking bestie, where's our son?'

* * *

'Hey Mom! And Mom!' Henry yelled as he opened the front door, 'Hi Grandma!'

3 pairs of eyes swivelled to him and 3 voices hissed, 'Ssh!'

'That's what happens when you drink too much, ladies.' David mused as he walked in behind Henry, baby Neal in his arms. Killian brought up the rear, dragging Neal's stroller behind him and carrying 3 different bags; Henry's backpack, Neal's diaper bag and baby supplies, and a bag pierced through his hook, containing bagels.

Emma rushed over to help him, 'Anyone wanna tell me why Hook's weighed down? Henry, come and take your bag, kid.' Emma smiled apologetically at Killian, 'You shouldn't struggle, you jus-'

'I wasn't and am not struggling, I'm perfectly capable of carrying a few bags, Swan.'

'What? I know. Of course you are...I just mean...' Emma blushed, wishing she'd never said anything. Killian's face broke out into one of those heart stoppingly perfect smiles, 'It's fine, lass. I jest. Henry and the old man...I mean _David_ -' Killian corrected himself after yet another death glare from the Prince, '-won a bet, and as a result, I had to be packhorse.'

Emma found herself smiling back at him, quite unable to form words. _The way his eyes twinkled, the way even his eyebrows managed to be as expressive as the rest of his face, the way he smirked knowingly at her_...

'I said you can let go of my arm now, Swan.' Killian repeated, Emma completely missing the first time he said it.

'Yes. Right, sorry.' 

Henry shot Regina a knowing look, they both rolled their eyes at Emma and the pirate. 

David moved to Mary-Margaret, kissing her on the cheek as he handed over their sleeping son. Killian smiled at Snow, 'Your lad is a natural sailor, the little Prince loved the motion of the boat.'

'What boat?' Emma, Regina and Mary-Margaret all asked in unison.

'I told you all last night, Killian invited myself and the boys out fishing. We tried to catch breakfast,' David piped up, 'Which is how we-' David motioned between himself and Henry, '-won the bet. Killian insisted we could catch...what was it?' 'Kippers.' 'That was it. Long story short, we didn't catch breakfast. So the packhorse bought bagels, salmon-'

'I could have caught a bloody salmon!'

'-and cream cheese.' 

'With paper money.' Killian added, he had made a deal with Henry - he had to start paying for things he wanted, including kitchen appliances. And bagels. 

'And no you could not have caught a salmon, I doubt you could catch a cold.' 

'How exactly does one "catch a cold"?'

'Yoohoo, boys?' Snow called, 'Why don't we save the bickering for later? Hmm? Killian, please sit down, join us for breakfast.' Snow's laser vision fixed on Regina as she tried to sneak towards the door, 'You too, madame Mayor. Sit.'


	8. I'm forever black-eyed, the product of a broken...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Breakfast time is over now, Pirate.'

'Well that was just...Charming.' Killian Jones said, with a grin plastered to his face. 'Really, we should do this more often...' he continued, nodding towards Emma, 'I could perhaps...what's the word...ah, yes. Sleepover.'

David's jaw clenched, his hands involuntarily creating fists.

'Yea, breakfast time is over now, pirate.' Emma said, while standing up and starting to clear away the plates. 'Henry, go get your homework. Regina, help Henry with his homework - and no, you cannot use magic. Sno- _Mom_ ,' Emma gave Mary-Margaret an apologetic smile, 'Maybe take dad somewhere...where he's less likely to hit that idiot.' 

_Again_ , Killian silently mouthed at David.

Snow tugged at her husband's arm until he stood and allowed himself to be led away. Snow smiled at her daughter over her shoulder, she wasn't exactly Captain Hook's biggest fan, but seeing her daughter...slowly, very slowly, fall for the pirate...well, that was something Snow White had yearned for, while she still carried Emma. 'I don't know what you're smiling all dreamily about, Snow.' David quietly hissed, 'That...that...'

'Emma likes him, Charming.'

'But-'

'I said, Emma likes him. So, you will be courteous to him. You will behave, David.'

'But-'

Snow let out an exasperated sigh, accompanied with an eye roll at the idiot she married. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extremely brief update, as I'm literally running out the door. It's difficult to run, type and try to make sure you've spelt everything correctly. I wouldn't recommend it.


	9. Protect me from what I want...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alone, unloved and unloving. Killian Jones could be a very patient man.

Emma suppressed a smile, the pirate really was quite adorable at times. He was currently trying to help her continue to feed her baby brother, the baby brother her parents had wandered off without. Which Emma saw as a good thing, for too long her mother seemed to need Neal in her arms constantly. Emma was glad that her parents were slowly starting to realise that nothing and no one was going to take Neal, or herself, away from them. Not if the Saviour had anything to say about it, anyway.

'Why is the little Prince's food this disgusting green colour, Emma?' asked Killian, he was looking at the small jar of baby food with a great deal of disdain. 

'Because it's...' Emma checked the flavour on the jar, 'It's organic pea.' Emma dipped the small spoon back into the jar, 'Yes, it is, isn't it, Neal? Yes, is it, it's pea. Mmm. Mmm.' Emma coo-ed and talked at her brother in a high, child-like voice.

'Doesn't sound very breakfasty. And why are you talking like that?'

'Breakfasty isn't a word, and he's a baby, this is how you talk to babies, Hook.' Emma replied, in the same sing-song tone.

'Why?'

Emma popped another spoon of the "organic pea" mush/baby food into her brothers tiny mouth, still managing to get it on his nose. 'Because he's a baby, and even though he doesn't understand the words, he likes to hear our jargon with a happy tone. It helps to soothe him. Doesn't it, little one?' More of the food Emma was trying to feed the baby, ended up on his nose, yet again, and his left cheek.

'Emma, love...he's supposed to be eating it, not wearing it. Out the way lass, this is a job for a pirate.' Killian announced, while removing his hook. 

'And how are you more qualified to feed a baby, Hook?' 

'Ever see me spill a single drop of rum? Even when highly inebriated?' Killian asked her, as he took the spoon from her hand and sat down, with a flourish and a swish of his long leather coat, in front of the baby Prince.

'Ah, your highness...just look at the state your sister has got you in. Between you and me, I'd be calling sabotage.' Killian gave Emma a cheeky wink, as he adopted a softer tone of voice. 

Neal's eyes followed Hook's every move, his little hands reaching for the sparkling rings on the hand Killian was using to feed him. 'Yes, lad's definitely a pirate, Swan. Look at him, trying to grab at the treasures.' 

At Emma's silence, Killian looked up at her, she was leaning against the sink obviously lost in thought, a small smile on her face. Killian quickly ducked his head, directing his attention back at his intended's brother. Letting her know she currently had a look of adoration on her face, not entirely directed at just her sibling, would be bad form. Hook was determined to let her come to her own realisations in her own time. He had been alone and unloved, and unloving for centuries. He could be a wait, he had all the time in the realm. Killian Jones was capable of being a very patient man, indeed.

* * *

It took Mary-Margaret and David another 10 minutes before they realised that the peaceful quiet they were currently enjoying, was slightly odd given they had a houseful; a pirate, the Saviour, their Grandson, the Evil Queen and a new...

'I can't believe we forgot about him! David, we are terrible parents.' Mary-Margaret cried as she quickly untangled herself from her husband's embrace and made a beeline for the kitchen. Where she found her son in the arms of the previously mentioned pirate, his braced arm supporting the baby, while his good hand weaved in-front of her son's face. Neal was gurgling up at the pirate happily, his small hands trying to catch the larger one above him. She couldn't help but smile, her smile growing even wider as she saw the happy look currently on her daughter's face.

'Ah, Mrs. Charming,' Killian said in a sing-song tone, similar to the one Emma always adopted when she was talking around her brother, as he noticed Snow watching him, 'No hook, m'lady, I am a baby friendly pirate.' 

'Yes, you certainly are...he adores you, Killian.' Snow replied kindly, not making a move to take her son off of him.

Killian swallowed a small ball of emotion at the embodiment of good complimenting him, and for using his given name. He smiled at Snow, 'I had best be leaving, you don't need an old pirate cramping up your home all morning.'

'No. Stay.' Emma said automatically, her eyes appearing startled at her own outburst, 'I mean...mom, he could stay, right?'

'Of course. Neal certainly seems to want...Uncle Killian to hang around,' Snow quickly put in, adopting a softer voice as she neared closer to her son. She wiggled her own fingers at him, 'Why don't you sit down, Killian? Emma, sweetie? Come sit down, keep your brother from turning into too much of a pirate.' 

As Emma walked past Mary-Margaret, she gave her mother a knowing look. To which her mother grinned, and went to make coffee. The pirate might be willing to wait her daughter out, but a mother knows best. And Snow had every intention of helping the good Captain capture her daughter's heart. He may not have been her first, or even second choice for her only daughter...but he was utterly devoted to Emma, that much was clear. And what was more than good enough for Snow White. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the idea of Snow White being team Hook. And making David be team Hook too. I love writing this drivel. *happy wiggle dance*


	10. A heart that hurts, is a heart that works.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Hook and the Princess sitting in a tree...'   
> 'Seriously, mom!?'

'He's been here for hours, Snow!' David quietly argued with his wife, keeping his voice low as their son was currently sleeping, in that damn Pirate's arms. 

'Charming, I swear to God, if you don't start being nice to him, I will have Regina turn you into a nice house plant.' Snow held up her finger as David opened his mouth, probably to argue more, 'No. I mean it. We will be courteous to him, our daughter likes him - which means you will play nice, or you will be sleeping on the sofa for the foreseeable future.'

'Fine!' David huffed, a sullen expression on his face.

'And you can quit the sulky teenager face too, David.'

* * *

Emma couldn't help but smile at the sight before her. The fearsome pirate, the one and only Captain Hook, currently snoring softly, while holding her baby brother, who was also sleeping. Emma and Killian had been chatting idly for the past hour, she had been explaining the point of a washing machine to him, when she had eventually realised that he hadn't interrupted her in at least 5 minutes. She was fairly sure she should at least feel mildly offended at him falling asleep mid conversation, but she just couldn't find it in herself. They both looked far too cute, her brother holding onto the Pirate's thumb, while Killian's head lolled forwards. 

She knew that her parents were staying out of the way deliberately, she had her mother to thank for that, giving them space to just chat, to just enjoy...whatever this thing between them was. Emma wasn't stupid, she knew the sleeping idiot was in love with her...but the idea of opening herself up, of handing him a ladder to scale the tall walls of her heart, terrified her. The kind of terror that left you frozen, unable to even form words. 

She liked him. She'd known that for...well, since that stupid beanstalk. Even then, she'd known. But the idea of letting herself more than like him, that was far more harrowing than any Wicked Witch or Peter Pan. 

Emma was pulled from her internal turmoil over that damned sexy Pirate, by her mother quietly walking in and handing her a fresh cup of coffee. 'Well, he's certainly good with kids, Emma. Another tick in the pro-Killian box.' Mary-Margaret remarked quietly, a small smirk on her face.

'Mom!' Emma hissed, 'There is no "pro-Killian" box. Jeez. I'm almost glad we never had to deal with me dating, while I was a teenager.' 

Mary-Margaret huffed out a laugh, 'Don't worry, your father is acting like a spoilt teenager, he more than makes up for it.' 

'Oh, and you said dating!' the excited look on Mary-Margaret's face made a small lump appear in Emma's throat, her mom...this is what it would have been like growing up with her, the excitable, romantic Snow White. The woman that would, that should, have been her mother and her best-friend. 

'Forget I said the 'd' word, mom.' Emma took a big gulp of coffee (and ow, hot!), to hide her slight emotion and her ever growing embarrassment. 

Snow White's face broke into a stunning smile, 'Hook and my little Princess, sitting in a tree...' 

'Mom, Seriously?'

'...K-I-S-S-I-...'

'Okay, I'm definitely moving to New York now.'

'Aw, you'd miss my interfering ways far too much, Emma.' 

* * *

If either woman hadn't been so engrossed in their animated discussion, they would have noticed the Pirate's breathing change. He kept his eyes closed, deceptively listening to the woman he loved, and her mother chatting about him. Well, he was a Pirate after-all. It would have been rude not to, really.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm am going somewhere with this, I swear I am. But the cuteness just won't escape my brain!


	11. I will battle for the sun...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'I am not filthy or dirty, thank you very much!'

Captain Killian 'Hook' Jones was trying very hard not to let on that he was no longer unconscious. He rather enjoyed hearing the light, carefree tone of Emma's voice as she spoke with her mother, well, faux-argued with her. He was itching to open his eyes, already imagining the beautiful smile, _he could just tell that she was smiling_ , gracing her face. He had been doing so well, despite his growing need to lay eyes upon his Swan...until Regina bloody Mills opened her big mouth.

'Snow White, what on earth are you doing?'

'Oh, Regina, hi-...'

'Quiet, Miss Swan. Snow, really? Allowing that filthy pirate to handle Neal? Do I need to magically bathe your child? The dirty pirate's had his paw and claw all over him, poor lit-'

'I am not filthy or dirty, thank you very much!' _whoops_...

'I thought you were sleeping, Hook?' Emma asked, raising her eyebrows at Killian.

'I am. I was. I...she...woke me.' Killian finished lamely, already preparing himself for a bit more Emma-shaped rejection.

He was pleasantly surprised when she laughed, 'Pirate by name, pirate by nature, huh, Captain?' 

_Wait. Was Emma flirting with him?_

* * *

_Oh God, I did not just try to flirt with him, with my mother and my son's other mother in the room_...  

Emma had never been so thankful for her infant brother, the tiny bundle in Killian's arms started to squirm and loudly inform the room that he was either hungry, needed changing or just plain wanted attention. Emma liked to think that he just knew she needed a break, _baby brother for the win!_

'Look! She woke him too!' Killian shot Regina an accusatory glare.

'I'm so very sorry that I disturbed your much needed beauty sleep, Pirate.' Regina barked back.

'Regina, play nice,' Snow spoke up, gently taking her wailing son from Killian, 'Why don't we take Step-Granny Regina, and make her change you, little one?' 

'I'm the Evil Queen, can someone please cower before me? Or poison me? Where does Emma keep her gun?' Regina, begrudgingly, followed Snow from the room.

Emma was just glad no one had noticed her flustered, beet-red face.

'Your family is bizarre, Swan.'

* * *

 

Snow led Regina out of the room, laughing at the Mayor's grumblings. She still found it hard to believe, the Evil Queen just hanging around her home, integrating into the 'Charming' household and family, seamlessly. Of course, she wouldn't tell Regina that. Not too much, anyway.

'Ah, David. Please talk some sense into your wife.' Regina stated, taking Neal from Snow as Snow got the babies changing supplies ready.

'The dirty pirate, right? I know. She's making me be nice to him. I had to invite him to boy's night.' David managed to sound like a merely petulant child, as opposed to his spoilt teenager mood from earlier in the day.  

Mary-Margaret rolled her eyes, 'Will you both give him a break? Emma likes him.'

'David, control your wife.' 

'Oh please, if my step-mother.' Snow glared at Regina pointedly, '-couldn't control me, what chance does he have?'

Both women laughed.

* * *

Killian smirked at Emma, he hadn't missed the glorious blush. 

Emma coughed, looking slightly uncomfortable under his intense scrutiny. All he wanted to do was pull her into his arms, and kiss her until she broke and gave into the feelings he was so sure she harboured for him. He sighed quietly, wondering if Prince Charming had had this much trouble capturing Snow White's heart.

_She's worth the wait_. He thought, as she turned that stunning smile on him.

* * *

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick update, crazy week. Regular, overly fluffy updates shall resume tomorrow =D D= will be the reactions, I'm sure lol.


	12. I long, I burn to touch you just the same...

The truth was, Killian Jones would quite happily spend the rest of his day - Hell, the rest of his life for that matter - just idly spending time with the beautiful blonde woman before him. His face almost hurt from smiling, just listening to her talk...it made parts of him that he thought long dead, light up and slowly come back to life. Yes, Killian would have been quite happy to remain within the Charming's loft, but Killian wasn't just trying to win his fair-haired maiden's heart, but also win over her family. The family that contained her son, her infant brother, her remarkably young looking parents, oh and the Evil Queen too. 

'I should be leaving, Swan.' He said, while slowly rising to his feet. He reattached his hook, and hid his happy smile at the swift look of disappointment on Emma's face. He had warned her, he could read her like a book.

'Oh...right. Of course,' Emma shrugged nonchalantly, also rising to her feet, 'I mean, you probably have things to do...?' 

'Not really, lass. But I think your parents might want their abode Pirate-free.'  _And now for some fun..._ 'Plus, I do have a date tonight, so I really should go and prepare for that...a man really needs more than one pair of these...genies...things.' He tugged on the rigid material, _denim_ as Emma kept telling him, he still preferred the soft leather he usually wore. He was at the door, before Emma caught up with him.

'A date? You have a date?'

'Yes. I have a date.'

'I see.'

'...With your father.'

'Oh.'

'Relieved, Swan?' Killian couldn't help the teasing tone, or the smirk.

Emma swatted his arm, 'You're such a...'

'...Pirate?'

Killian smirked, as he bowed his head to kiss Emma's cheek. He had rather hoped she'd turn her head and allow him to capture her luscious lips, but best not run before they could walk, or so the saying goes.

'See you this evening, Dave! Charming morning, m'ladies.' He called, as he gave a cheeky bow to Emma, and Snow who had appeared behind her daughter. 

'You're more than welcome to stay, Killian...' Snow started, smiling warmly at her daughter's almost-boyfriend.

'I must take my leave, I have to look good for my date, after all.' He gave a last cheeky wink, then ducked out of the door.

'He's an idiot.' Emma remarked.

'Oh, you're sooooo not fooling me, dear daughter.' Snow smirked at Emma, Emma just rolled her eyes.  _Mothers._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last week sucked, which made me suck at updating. ='(


	13. Now that it's snowing in your brain...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sharp? No sharp. Where is sharp?

Killian Jones opened his eyes, immediately regretting doing so. He scrunched up his face, muttering obscenities at the bright sun currently trying to assault his poor, hungover eyes. He slowly rose from the floor of his (sort of his) houseboat, he still hadn't acquired a bed. Oh well, he'd slept in far worse places.

He staggered topside, using the walls for some much needed balance. On the deck, stood a 4ft tall statue, which looked oddly like one of the seven dwarves. Killian cocked his head to the side, 'What in the hell are you doing aboard my ship, mate?' he mumbled, lifting his braced arm to scratch behind his ear. Nothing happened.

Killian staggered backwards as he tried to balance, and get a decent look at his arm.

'What?'

He tumbled over his own feet, landing unceremoniously on his really rather dashing backside.

'Sharp! No sharp...? Where is sharp?'

* * *

David 'Charming' Nolan gradually woke up, the sun streaming in through the open curtains. He stretched, reaching out automatically for his wife. He cracked open an eye, when he felt that her side of the bed was empty. He checked the clock on the bedside table, 7:43am, he grunted as he flung an arm over his eyes.  _Sunday's are for "sleeping in", now where's the wife?_

'David?' 

_Ah ha. Wife._

'Yes, darling?'

'Why is Hook's hook on my dining table?'

'Oh.' _No "sleeping in" this Sunday then..._

 

 


	14. Lost without a clue...

'Do you wanna explain to me why this-', Snow dangled the Hook from her finger, -'is adorning my kitchen table, David?'

'Uhm...'

'Something a little more eloquent then, "uhm", David.'

David pulled a pillow over his face, 'hmph codmph amurph hish staumph.'

Snow pulled the pillow away from her idiot husbands face, and hit him with it. 'Wanna try that once more...?'

David sat up, sighing and looking petulant. He coughed and perused the cot containing his son, more playing for time than anything else. 'Okay, Snow. Look...I...we...may...we, well we thought it would be funny to, ya know...prank Hook...'

'Prank Hook...? Are you 12, David?'

* * *

Killian was slumped against the small door, more of a hatch really, leading to what he was trying to view as the Captain's quarters of his little houseboat. He must have been sat there quite awhile, trying to work out why his hook was missing, and just what the hell this dwarf-like statue was doing on his deck, as he was cold right down to the bone.

'Hmm...think you might 'ave to go overboard, mate...there's just not room for a crew...there's barely enough room for me...' Hook laughed nervously. Truth was...if this was really one of Snow bloody White's dwarfs, turned to stone, on his boat...well, it just didn't look too good, did it? They'd blame him, he could already hear Granny's usual clientel, "That old pirate, Hook! ( _Hookless, Killian internally scoffed_ ) He's nought but trouble! The dwarves, and possibly that delectable Charming girl, aren't safe!"

He got his feet under him, and started to pace. After 5 minutes of irritated pacing, his frustration fuelled internal ranting gave way to kicking the stone dwarf, which then led to Killian shouting, grabbing his foot...and promptly overbalancing. Straight into the icy depths lapping at his boat.

Hook sputtered as he tried to haul himself, one handed, back onto the small boat. It took a lot of swearing and some brute force, but he eventually hauled himself onto the deck. The stupid stone dwarf grinning down at him the entire time.

And where the bloody hell was his bloody hook anyway?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's only been about 6 months xD I finally have my laptop back! So I can finally get back to writing this rubbish! As far as this POS goes, S5 doesn't exist. Yet. Or at all. Maybe. I dunno. Have a finger of fish, okay? =D
> 
> It's short, just while my brain gets back into the swing of all the fluff.


	15. These bonds are shackle free...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waffles or pancakes...?

'Morning Mom', Emma Swan mumbled as she walked into the kitchen, accepting the cup of coffee her mother held out to her, and kissing her on the cheek. Emma sipped at the hot beverage gratefully, it was really starting to get cold first thing in the morning. 'Where's dad? I wanted waffles...'

Mary-Margaret smiled at the slight whine in her daughters voice, 'He's at Granny's. How about some of my special pancakes instead?'

'But we have waffles on Sun-' Emma promptly stopped talking and sat down, after catching the look on her mothers face. 'Pancakes would be wonderful, thank you, mom...I love you. And...your pancakes...' _Even if I eat them like...all the time. Sunday's are for waffles, mom!_

'I can hear what you're thinking, young lady.'

Emma ducked her head, preparing a 'I have no idea what you're talking about, mother' speech, when the front-door opened.

'-he wasn't even there! It's practically 6am, Snow! And it's freezing out there!'

'It's 8:30. Henry is more mature than you and your stupid friends, so in future don't "prank" people - then you won't have to go out at "practically 6am"!' Snow ended the steadily-getting-louder-and-louder sentence, by slamming a plate of pancakes onto the table.

Emma and David both jumped, startled, at the usually sweet tempered Snow White raising her voice.

Emma widened her eyes at David, trying to silently communicate that he should sit down, shut up and eat the damn pancakes... _and maybe after he's eaten them, make her some waffles_. 

* * *

 

'So...why were you out so early, dad...?'

'Oh, let me answer that for you, sweetie.' Mary-Margaret threw a dirty look at David, and put emphasis on the sweetie part, pretty much saying 'this is substituted for a word I won't say in front of our daughter.'

'Uh...okay...'

'Your father stole-'

'I didn-'

'-don't even think about interrupting me right now, Nolan!'

David quickly closed his mouth, and pushed pieces of pancake around his plate. _My waffles are better, woman_.

Emma dared a quick glance at her chastened father, and could practically see his internal monologue written on his face. Her parents were hilarious, 'Don't dad, she can hear what you're thinking. It's a mom power.' Emma mumbled, trying not to laugh.

'Well we can certainly see that she's _**your**_ daughter, Prince Charming!'

* * *

 

 'This is all your bloody fault, mate!' Hook slurred at the stone dwarf, 'Which one are you anyway? Eh? Speak up! I'm stone deaf! ...haha, get it? Stone deaf! Ah...I wish I had friends...and electricity. And warmth. Warmth would be nice.'

Killian shook from the cold, trying to warm his hands over the 3 small candles he had left. Falling in the bloody water, and having no way to dry yourself kinda... _what was it Henry and the other Storybrooke children were always saying_...ah, yes. Sucked. This whole day sucked.

He went to take (another) drag from his flask. 'Ah...we seem to be out of rum.'

Well. at least today couldn't get any worse...right?

Then he promptly sneezed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I shouldn't write at 2am, while silently crying into a pot noodle xD

**Author's Note:**

> It reads as a bit jumbled =/ sorry about that, I have the habit of writing how I speak and just as it pops into my head, without any refinement =/  
> Chapter titles generally all lyrics by Placebo.  
> Rating is for later chapters, kids.


End file.
